Let Loose
READ
I want my thoughts and actions to imitate Christ. I really do. And yet, sometimes I find myself off course, and I'm not sure how I got there. Paul's reminder in Romans is that we are sinful by nature — "wretched," as he puts it. That's a hard word to sit with, but there's real freedom on the other side of it. When we look honestly at our hearts, we see that only Christ in us can rescue us from our sinful desires. That change is worth acknowledging and celebrating.
Let’s take a moment to read Romans 7:18-20,24-25:
For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do. Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one that does it, but it is the sin that lives in me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I myself am serving the law of God, but with my flesh, the law of sin.
REFLECT
Several years ago, my husband and I decided to tackle a home improvement project. We wanted to do a little updating to our home, but that meant that, before things would look better, they would look… well, worse. We were taking out cabinets and removing bathroom vanities, and in that process, our peaceful home turned into a construction zone. Nothing, it seemed, was in its usual, rightful place, and my life and routine felt disrupted and unorganized.
At the same time, our 20-year-old daughter was moving out of her apartment and home with us for the summer, which should have thrilled my mama-heart. But when she got home, I am ashamed to say that I felt something different. I completely looked beyond her, the sweet girl I love, and only saw more mess coming into our home.
As she unloaded boxes and bins, our upstairs hallway soon became impassable. It looked like a disaster area and, as silly as this sounds, I sort of mourned the loss of tidiness and order. And in the mess, and in the stress, I became someone I was not proud of.
In a moment, I found myself getting snappy with the people I love. My responses were short and abrupt. Instead of being welcoming and loving, I was walking around huffing and puffing with my disgust on full display. I heard words and a tone come out of my mouth that didn’t sound like me. It’s not an excuse, but somehow in the tension I felt myself give my sinful nature the greenlight and the go-ahead to fully proceed. While I didn’t like how I sounded or how I was treating the people closest to me, I just kept doing “what I did not want to do”. Ugh.
I think that’s the heart behind the verses we read today. Sometimes we end up being who we don’t want to be, and it’s all because we have let loose the sinful nature within us, thinking we have no Helper. We have somehow forgotten about the power of Christ within us to free us. Instead of leaning in to Him, we have simply reacted and responded, leaving a path of destruction behind us.
For me, I have a personal practice of writing in my journal each morning these words, “Lord, I am still a sinner, in need of Your saving grace. I depend on You.” This simple confession keeps me humble and committed. It keeps me mindful not only of my tendencies but also of the amazing work of the cross. It keeps me growing in Christ’s ability to change me and to really celebrate that each day. As I look to Him for help, He is faithful, and thankfully, I am no longer a slave to the sin within me.
After our daughter got all of her stuff into our house, I looked out the window to see her sitting outside alone. She looked defeated, and my heart broke as I thought about my contribution to her silent withdrawal. I thought about my actions and my failure to welcome her home as a loving mama should. I stepped outside onto our deck, where she was sitting, while shaking my head at my disappointment with myself. “I’m sorry. It’s not you. It’s me.”
We talked for a long time, and I rediscovered what my heart seems to have to learn time and time again. It is in confession that restoration is found. And in a moment, that ugly, sinful nature I had been displaying all day long lost its power. I don’t know about you, but that makes me want to say like Paul, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
RESPOND
Take a moment to process what God might be leading you to do in light of what you read.
When you find yourself doing "what you do not want to do," how do you get back on track and realign your heart with Christ?
Make it a point this week to celebrate Christ's work within you. Where have you found freedom from doing what you don't want to do?
The closing song at church on Sunday was Clean by Hillsong United. Listen to it today and let those words fill your heart: "Because of Jesus, my heart is clean."
REST
Take a moment to rest in God’s presence and consider one thing you can take away from your time reading, then close your devotional experience by praying:
Lord, I confess that I have a sinful nature. I am prone to doing things I do not want to do. Help me remember that through You, I can be free. Your power lives in me. Thank you for Your loving patience and for rescuing me from sin and darkness. You are making me clean. Amen.
Port City writer Holly Campbell wrote today’s devotional.